Do you ever wonder why it’s so hard to move on from the past? And by “the past” I’m talking about the experiences of pain and suffering.
For many of us, it’s hard to move on because of our need for certainty. As humans, certainty is about knowing what to expect and how to deal with the final/known outcome. When dealing with pain and suffering, we are sure to avoid pain but at the same time, thrive in the certainty and comfort of the results, because after all, we’ve been there, we know the outcome, and it’s a safe and comfortable place to be, it feels like home.
On the flip side, there is uncertainty, a place we haven’t been, a place of discomfort of what lies ahead and we often resort back to what feels familiar, safe, and secure; certainty. This very reason alone is why we cling to the past, painful experiences because we’re afraid of experiencing more pain and suffering. On the other hand, if we learn to let go, we can embrace the opposite of pain and suffering, love, joy, and happiness.
Another reason it is so difficult to let go of the past has to do with the way we link emotion to information. For me as a woman, connecting my memories and experiences to my emotions, I’m able to recall everything, right down to the feelings I felt at that particular moment. For example, have you ever had a song come on, and instantly you’re transported back in time, experiencing the pain or joy of this memory triggers all over again? You can recall almost every detail, where you were, who you were with, what you were wearing, etc. Why is that? It’s because we’ve created an emotional memory based on that experience. On the contrary, you hear another song and you just sit back end enjoy it, you do not have any stored memories associated with that song. I call this, the difference between hearing and listening.
Think about it, you only pay attention to the lyrics when you are sad (pain) and create an emotional meaning with each word, however, when we’re happy we can hear the same song, and it sounds like music to our ears!
“When we are happy, we enjoy the music, and when we are sad, we understand the lyrics.”
But in the end, what is holding on to the past getting you? Is it bringing you closer to where we want to be? Is it beneficial to your relationships and self-happiness?
But what is this all costing us? How is it impacting our relationships, our lives, and our happiness? What can we do to let go and live a happier, healthier life?
WHY DO YOU WANT TO LET GO?
Identifying your WHY will determine your HOW.
Why do you want to let go? How is it serving you in your personal, professional, and emotional life? How can you heal your emotional past? Imagine yourself totally free and living the life you were designed to be living, one of love, peace, and joy.
Once you visualize where you want to be, it’s accepting where you are and the will for change. This will be challenging as you create new forms of certainty by embracing the uncertainty, fears, and discomfort. If your WHY is a strong enough reason, you will stay focused and determined. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.