Let’s talk about anger and forgiveness. A topic that’s been buzzing around these past few weeks.
Forgiveness is like wine for your soul. It’s soothing, calming, brings you peace and joy and once you’ve had a sip, it’s easier to down.
While writing my book, it brought forth a lot of emotional and inner work that was unresolved such as anger and forgiveness.
In it, I share how I learned and came to terms with unforgiveness. A concept I’d heard many times but used anger to justify why I couldn’t and wouldn’t forgive someone. After all, they’re the one who wronged me, right?
Sure, if you’re looking to justify your emotions and keep score, but if you’re the one who’s holding on, who’s the one winning?
It sounds like they are!
In holding grudges and keeping score, I realized, I was the one suffering. I’m the one who was losing.
The ‘wrong-doer’ is going about their life like nothing happened, and now you’re the one confined to a self-made prison of anger, bitterness, and resentment.
Anger occurs when an expectation is NOT met.
Anger and forgiveness only hurt you. Not them. And most likely, the other person may *never* know they even hurt you.
When you hold onto anger, it becomes bitterness, eventually turning into resentment, it festers, it consumes you, hardening your heart, turning to hate and you become someone else.
You’re unable to trust and let others in.
Your outsides mirror your insides and life begins to take on a new perspective – dark, miserable, lonely, depressing.
In storing up these negative emotions, your heart becomes cold, carefully tucked away behind the walls you’ve built for protection, unable to let others in or let yourself out.
Choosing to hold onto unforgiveness will continue hardening your heart, making it harder to allow love, peace, and joy to enter and exit.
I learned to let go, surrender and forgive myself from the bondage of guilt, shame, and anger. By doing so (forgiving self) I allowed room in my heart to open and forgive others.
Let’s be clear; forgiveness is NOT about accepting, condoning or giving someone a pass for their actions. It is, however, a choice. A choice for YOU to move forward. A choice to forgive and accept where that person is, acknowledge it and move on.
How can you become your best self if you’re holding onto fear, anger, bitterness, and resentment?
How can you expect to be loved wholeheartedly when you’re afraid of loving wholeheartedly?
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”
Proverbs 4:23 NLT
Forgiveness is the key to your freedom.
Forgive for you, not them.
We cannot be forgiven until we forgive.
Let’s first begin by forgiving ourselves.
Set yourself free.